Melbourne to Port Fairy (M2PF)
NCIS.
You know.... As in "Newbie". Tony (Anthony) DiNozzo always refers to Special Agent Timothy McGee as this, despite the fact that he's been around for a while. Now we actually have a honest-to-goodness and genuine newbie, who also went to sea on a boat's maiden voyage into the Paddock - Dry White.
Michelle prepared this story for us to read. "My first ocean race began as I anticipated it would continue….. along with the rest of the crew, we assiduously labeled our food lockers: smoked salmon, brie, oyster shots and red wine. Lulled into an almost meditative state through administering this simple system, I was unaware of the imminent danger ahead. At first it began as a simple flash, then built to a mighty roar, as John’s boating shorts split from stem to stern, revealing the unmistakable iridescent glow of his brand new Bonds purplehipster briefs….. And we hadn’t yet left Sandringham Yacht Club! Surely, this was an omen of somekind. As John was ordered down to cover up, we headed off and with the casting off of the bow ropes, I realised I was on the journey of a life time; an ominous journey filled with promise and like John’s undergarments, perhaps that element of threat. To Port Fairy or bust……" (Ed: BTW. Michelle is John Dryden's wife... so it's kind of OK if she knows such things.)
"Over the past few weeks I had bulked up for the occasion…. ‘Five extra kilos should do the trick’, I thought, as I quelled my anxiety over ‘just another glass’ of red. I soon learned that the five kilos I had added to my muffin top served me little purpose, as I attempted to grind the winch and ‘pull in the headie’. It served no purpose at all as I stood at the mast and yanked on the yellow genoa halyard and it was downright inconvenient as I squashed and contorted my body into the pipe cot. Being slightly claustrophobic, this indeed became the greatest risk to me throughout the journey…..How to survive a tack, from a position of some vulnerability, without landing on Simon’s head in the bunk below."
"I quickly learnt that a concert pianist does not necessarily have a role on an ocean going yacht!"
"After orders of, ‘Quick, bring me the one heavy’, followed by the flustered response, much sweating and incessant expletives and then almost immediately….. ‘For god’s sake, not the one heavy….. it’s the #4 now - you’re too late!’, we set forth. I must admit, I was slightly bewildered, as the sails were hoisted and dropped, the seemingly indecisive jib was flapped back and forth and the boat launched itself to graceful heights before plummeting to nothingness, with a corresponding gut-wrenching descent of my stomach contents. With my scop patch firmly in place, I decided to focus on the passing parade…. (Hmmm…. maybe the patch has a slightly hallucinogenic effect, but I was completely certain I saw the entire parade of Aida rising triumphantly from the swelling ocean, silhouetted against the big, ripemoon)."
"The last hours of the race were punctuated by enormous potholes in the ocean, warmed hospitalbottles (Ooh! …nice….), barking noises from the bowels of the boat, as half our crew succumbed to the whiles of the pulsing sea and unpredicted, yet somehow meaningful partnerships in the three cabins."
So, in summary, we have finally arrived in Port Fairy, slightly shaken, fillings awry and, from my own perspective, feeling somewhat chastened but infinitely committed to embarking on the next opportunity!"
The Brass also tell us that, "We could not get a table for a dinner in Port Fairy, so Dry White, after her Ocean christening, has also had her first dinner party. The wine and stories are flowing..." And yes, we'll try to get The Brass to send some medium res images soon....
So you want to know who went off with the fairies. Go HERE for the full results.
© John Curnow, ORCV Media
Please contact me for re-issue rights.
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This is one hell of a Bring the shore crew - they'll love |
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